Drugs I have taken

In a confessional mood tonight. Well, not terribly confessional; “self-indulgent” would probably cover it better. This is only illegal drugs – I’ve taken and continue to regularly take the legal non-prescription ones.

• Spliff, of course. Boring. Don’t really like it; I have enough trouble with ambition and attitude as it is without adding to that. Still, I like to think I gave it a good try. A few years of smoking on and off and eating some (the yoghurt trick – heating in oil in a spoon, then putting the spoon in a yoghurt pot, mixing up and eating). I just never really enjoyed it an awful lot. Booze was much better. Have not had any for years now in any quantity larger than a puff.
• Speed. I liked speed. This was cheap Scottish speed, probably 10% or less pure, but it did the trick i.e. allowed me to dance for a few hours longer than usual without untoward side-effects. I always felt fine in the morning… okay, afternoon, but it would have been the same if I’d just been drinking. Amphetamines are skill. Not had any for years. I don’t dance much nowadays.
• Acid. I don’t like acid. I don’t hallucinate visually at all beyond some very light effects, so that fun element is taken out of it, and the last time I took any (to “help” a friend who was trying some) it was a lot stronger than I thought and all I ended up with was an inability to understand normal human conversation – couldn’t judge what was going on so I insulted people or otherwise acted the twat – vicious paranoia and a lack of depth perception, which made crossing the road a big laugh, I can tell you. I’m not built to take acid. You take it if you want to but I’ll pass, thanks.

Things I haven’t really taken:

• Pills (meaning Ecstacy, or things supposedly involving MDMA). I had something like a half or a third of a pill in Heaven once, which doesn’t count since who knows what was in it anyway. Did nothing at all, as you’d expect. There was a survey that was trying to get volunteers in Edinburgh who’d taken other drugs – i.e. were “polydrug abusers” – but hadn’t taken E, and they were having real difficulty finding anyone. I think I would have been about the only person. No, I didn’t volunteer.
• Coke. From what everyone says, and the chemistry of the drug, I would like coke way too much, and I would fuck myself up on it. I actively avoid coke. Anything which costs a lot of money and solves your problems with self-confidence for a short period, I’d be off to the loos every half an hour. Besides, I’ve known more than one person who was very nice not on coke, and an absolute arsehole after a few lines, so that’s not very encouraging either.
• Stronger hallucinogens. Fucking hippy shit. Count me out. Go explore your consciousnesses on your own – the phenomenal world is enough for me right now, I just want drugs that will let me deal with that a bit better.