The bold members of the local hunt turned up at the corner of the street for the traditional Boxing Day hunt, bravely defying the Politically Correct Brigade (waving knitted hemp banners and armed with rolled-up copies of the Guardian) and the massed ranks of police who were of course out en masse to keep tabs on a group who had obviously come equipped to commit an offence. I must have been still a bit dozy from yesterday’s Christmas lunch as I failed to spot either of the latter groups, but I’m sure they were there.
I’ve yet to meet a local who thinks these people are anything other than wankers but I’m assured by fawning ITN News coverage that the issue is uniting “country people”. We were also treated to nice pictures of happy smiling red-coated riders holding babies (never too early to blood them I suppose) and Jim Fucking Davidson, doubtless back for a few days from Dubai on the advice of his accountants to retain the most favourable tax status. Now, the hunting of Jim Davidson with dogs I think would be a worthwhile continuation of this ancient tradition. Admittedly, if he was caught, that would be it for the season, but one could always then use Garry Bushell.
Instead of this socially useful substitute though we have them using various loopholes to continue, such as the fact that you are allowed to use dogs to flush out quarry for birds of prey – thus we have hunts wandering around with an owl. No, really. Another legal pursuit is drag hunting where the dogs chase a scent-impregnated piece of cloth, but, you know, if they happen to get out there and the dogs get the scent of a fox, well, you can’t stop them can you? No choice but to follow them and carry on with it.
There are those that complain about the hunting ban but really, it’s helping to re-establish the whole point of the ritual. It’s always been about demonstrating social dominance, and by going ahead with it in defiance of one of the few pieces of popular legislation enacted by New Labour, in the full knowledge that the police are going to do absolutely nothing, one is able to give the middle finger to the proles to an even greater degree than before.