On Friday, as you might have noticed from the last post, I was in the office until 9.30pm or so fixing things up and making sure the run would take place over the weekend. Even so, I thought that there was a chance that it wouldn’t work properly – there were a few things that I’d not checked completely after all – so I mentioned that I would probably go back over the weekend to check.
I set out this afternoon at five-ish to do this, and realised by the time I’d gone a hundred metres from the front door that this was an utterly ridiculous thing to do. I get paid money by these jokers. It is not “coming in on the weekend” money. Coming in on the weekend is not in my contract. I have agreed to do 37.5 hours a week. Why the hell am I even thinking about doing this voluntarily? What is wrong with me? Nobody’s going to die if I have to rerun the program tomorrow and they get it one day late. Christ’s sake, what am I thinking?
And why the hell do I even have to defend this behaviour to myself? I shouldn’t even be thinking “oh well it’s not that serious if it doesn’t get done” – who cares whether it’s serious or not? Even if the entire monthly update happened a day or two later than advertised – which wouldn’t happen unless I was two weeks later or so – what difference would it make to me? What sort of a shit should I give about the company’s reputation?
Even if I don’t have anything to do today, which I don’t, apart from arse about on the internet, why should I even consider spending that time earning money for somebody else?
My earlier self from a few years ago may have been something of a wanker, but at least he still had the right idea about priorities.