Cleaning The Fucking Kitchen

The Legal "Saga"

June 10, 2002

Here's what happened:

        March 12, 2002


              Re:       Trademark Infringement
                  FOR DUMMIES
                  Cleaning The Fucking Kitchen For Dummies

        Sir:

        I am the Trademark Administrator of Hungry Minds, Inc.

        As you may know, Hungry Minds, Inc., formerly IDG Books Worldwide
        Inc., has over 100 trademark registrations and applications in the

        United States, Canada and other jurisdictions for the trademark
        "FOR DUMMIES," many "DUMMIES" formatives and the FOR DUMMIES trade
        dress.  The For DummiesŪ trademark appears not only on the books,

        but on CD-ROMs, trade and consumer advertising, in catalogues,
        point of sale displays, Hungry Minds' websites, and other
        promotional and licensed material distributed around the world.
        This series has been in existence since 1991 and has enjoyed
        tremendous success.  In fact, there are over 100 million For

        DummiesŪ books in print, which have been translated into 38
        languages.

        The trademark rights established by Hungry Minds in connection with
        the For DummiesŪ series cover a wide variety of goods and services,
        topics and subject matters. As such, Hungry Minds, and its
        authorized representatives, have the exclusive right under
        trademark law to use these marks to distinguish its goods and
        services from third parties.

        United States trademark law prohibits anyone other than Hungry
        Minds from using its marks, or any marks that are confusingly
        similar, in connection with goods or services when such use is
        likely to cause confusion as to the source, sponsorship or
        affiliation of the goods or services and requires that Hungry Minds
        take all reasonable steps to prevent others from using its marks
        without authorization.  In addition, the law prohibits the use of a
        famous mark in such a way as to "dilute" its distinctiveness as an
        exclusive designator of the owner's goods and services.  When such
        dilution occurs, the mark can become a "generic" term used in
        connection with goods or services from many different sources, and
        the owner may therefore lose its exclusive right to use it.  Hungry
        Minds has made a considerable investment in promoting its For
        DummiesŪ trademarks and, as a result, it is clear that the For
        DummiesŪ trademarks are universally associated with Hungry Minds.
        In short, this trademark is an extremely valuable asset of our
        company.

        Hungry Minds recently became aware of your web site,
        http://www.fridgemagnet.org.uk/kitchen.html which features your

        work entitled "Cleaning The Fucking Kitchen For Dummies."  Hungry
        Minds finds your use of the "For Dummies" trademarks and trade
        dress in this work to be disparaging of our famous FOR DUMMIESŪ
        brand and asserts that there exists a likelihood of confusion and
        tarnishment in connection with the your use of our marks on your
        website in this manner.  If your use tarnishes the image of our
        trademarks by attaching a negative association therewith, your use
        is infringing use of our famous marks.

        Accordingly, it is Hungry Minds position that your continued use of
        For DummiesŪ in the above-referenced manner on your website
        infringes, dilutes and tarnishes Hungry Minds' trademarks and is
        disparaging to our reputation.  In order to fully protect its
        valuable trademarks, Hungry Minds cannot permit such use to

        continue.

        Because of the significant efforts Hungry Minds has undertaken to

        promote and protect our trademarks, we trust that you can
        appreciate our concerns.  We hope that this matter can be resolved
        quickly and amicably.  Accordingly, we request that you remove all
        references to For DummiesŪ and related logos and trade dress from
        the above-mentioned webpage and provide Hungry Minds with written
        assurance no later than April 9, 2002 that you will refrain from
        using its trademarks in the future.

        We appreciate your creativity, but we must protect our trademarks.
        Thank you for your attention to this matter.  I look forward to
        hearing from you.

To which I sent back something about the Berne Convention and how satire was usually considered "fair use". I didn't hear back for ages, so I assumed I had a point, but then I got...

        May 29, 2002



              Re:       Trademark Infringement
                  FOR DUMMIES
                  Cleaning The Fucking Kitchen For Dummies

        Mr. ...:

        I  am  in  receipt  of  your  March  22,  2002 letter regarding the
        above-referenced  matter.  While we are appreciative of your claims
        that your use of the FOR DUMMIESŪ trademarks and trade dress is for
        satirical  purposes,  this  assertion  does  not  mean  that  it is
        automatically   fair  and  non-infringing.   Parody  or  satire  is
        literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of
        an  author or a work for comic effect or ridicule.  However, unless

        the  trademark  or  owner  of the trademark is at least in part the
        target  of  the parody, your work does not qualify as fair use as a
        parody  or  satirical  work  in the legal sense.  Therefore, if you
        appropriate  our  FOR  DUMMIESŪ  trademarks and trade dress, not to
        parody  our  products  or company, but only as a prominent means to
        satirize and poke fun at something or someone else in society, this
        does not qualify as fair use.

        Although you may continue to present the defense that your use is a
        parody or satirical, these types of use may still be considered to

        be infringing if they result in an increased likelihood of
        confusion.  If your use is found to dilute the selling power of our
        trademarks your use is no longer defensible under these defenses
        and claims of fair use.  Trademark owners have protection against
        use of their marks on materials that are capable of tarnishing the
        image of the trademark or the company.  Associating our trademarks
        with the vulgar language used throughout your website is, in fact,
        tarnishing to our marks and our company image and can dilute the
        selling power of our trademarks.  Accordingly, we cannot allow such
        use to continue.


        Again, in order to protect our trademarks, we must reiterate our
        requests that you immediately cease using all FOR DUMMIES
        trademarks and related logos and trade dress.  Please confirm no
        later than June 11, 2002 that you have removed all FOR DUMMIES
        trademarks, logos and trade dress from your website.

So there you have it. From what I can gather, this is true. Petty and irritating, but true, and there's not much I can do about it; I lose money on this website, I can't afford to defend it in court. (Not that it's likely that it would go to court because I am in a different country, but they could hassle my site providers.)

The fact that using a company's trademarks to satirise that company is allowable use, though, brings up some possibilities.

If there are any people out there who actually know about this sort of thing and can tell me that I can put the original page up again, I'd love to hear from you, but unless that happens it's down.

Back to the kitchen page home

Curious thing I just noticed

In the second email, the first paragraph is proportionally spaced, but the rest aren't. Curious. The mails were plain-text as well, it's all done with spaces, just as it appears here.